Gasping.

Today was my first bad day at medical school. 

Day 10 is when it hit me. I could feel this uneasy feeling swirling around inside of me, drifting up in waves but settling back down again. But today, I felt deflated. My energy was gone, my spirit had extinguished, and the only thing that allowed me to last until 7pm at the school was gummy sharks, wheat thins, and lead weight of anxiety about our quickly approaching first exam.

After reflecting about my actions and patterns this week, it’s no wonder I’m feeling the burnout. I have been going to bed around 11pm (if not later), waking up at 5am, and then studying for 8+ hours of the day (outside of class time). I haven’t made the time to go to the gym, go to the yoga class I enrolled in, or spend 20 minutes talking on the phone with a friend. I have focused 100% of my time and energy on studying. This is not realistic, sustainable, or efficient.

I need to dig back down to the basic study habits that I have engrained for 5 years, and they have gotten me this far:   


-Getting at least 7 hours of sleep.

-Finding the time to work out every day.

-Doing things that make me happy and relieve stress.

My sister phrased it perfectly: you are not living real life. You may be able to do this for a few weeks or maybe a few months, but you can’t live your life in a hole studying for 4 years of medical school. You need to have a life. You need to have balance when you study for boards, when you are a resident, and when you are a doctor.

Balance.

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