The knowledge I am acquiring about medicine nearly equates the knowledge I am learning about myself.
I call it the “Confidence Paradigm”. Have you ever been bloated with confidence walking into a test, only to score wildly below average? Conversely, have you ever been so uncertain about a test that you were still cramming bits and pieces into your brain seconds before walking through the door? Personally, the latter describes my state before tests when I’ve score best.
Uncertainty usually precedes my success.
I’m noticing this lesson feed into my life in a constantly reoccurring, surprising new way: I am not always right. I am beginning to gain the clarity that is really only possible with the presence of a frontal lobe, and that development allowed my confidence bubble to pop. This was not a damaging event, but instead it was the necessary exposure to allow new growth and flexibility in my thinking. Those who hold the highest wisdom are those who listen to others’ ideas and embrace the fact that their own thinking may often be flawed. I, on the other hand, have a history of plunging forward with my ideas with terrifying pace and pressure, barely pausing to absorb other ideas or criticisms.
I am learning to bend.
“The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” – Aristotle